I Had Sex with the Pizza Guy, LOL

And he was my boyfriend

Photo by Garin Chadwick on Unsplash

I’m going to tell you something that I can’t even make up: I had sex with the pizza delivery guy.

And before you freak out imagining a forbidden affair worthy of a soap opera, calm down. He was my boyfriend — Yes, my boyfriend, who decided to do some extra work as a delivery man, lol.

But seriously, that night, when he knocked on the door holding a pizza box, I swear it was like I was about to live a scene from an adult movie — only with a bad script and even more questionable direction, haha.

First, let’s agree that there’s nothing sexier than mixing two of the best things in life: pizza and sex. And then? Well…he showed up at my door wearing that, I don’t know, sexy uniform? Lol

Seriously, I even tried to look serious, but I failed miserably.

And you know what? I got so excited when I saw him like that that I almost looked like a teenager at the height of puberty, with a uniformed crush bringing carbs as a gift, lol.

And it doesn’t end there…

Then he came into the house, put the pizza on the table, laughed, and said, “You asked for just that, right?”

Of course, I asked, but I pretended to be indignant. “I? How absurd!” — But at that point, he…